trapped

From the beginning I have been aware of how trapped we are in our own experiences, with only the crudest methods of sharing that experience with other human beings.  I have longed to know how my experience compares with those of others.  I some nights wonder around looking at the lights inside other peoples houses and wonder what it would be like to be them.  In daily life we have few chances to get to even the shallowest of understandings what other people experience.

Its only through literature that I have been able to get a sense of what life for someone else might be like... because when I write, I am that someone else.  Just another face in the crowd.

I have always assumed that there are others in this world with similar desires.  People who need to know that they are not alone in their desires, in their dreams, in their response to life.  To help those like me who need this reassurance and are curious about the internal state of others. I have tried to be an open book towards you, even on a trivial level.  I felt it was my duty to tell you what I really think about things.  Practical consideration dictate that I try and temper these revelations to suite the audience. . . but I learned that truth can be a brutal thing and I do think it has to be revealed with discretion.

In time I have tried to imitate what others have done to me by writing down a bit of what passes through my head.  I don't have the time, imagination, discipline to do long form literature like this...

poems are more condensed and you can hold the entire work in your mind at once.  I have written poems to you that have radically altered how I felt about things.  To me poems could be about simple things , scraps of everyday experience , or your inner soul written in simple straight forward language and still be powerful and trans formative.   My poems come when they come, but my spoken words don't. I think my writing somehow connects the dots for me.  Much of my initial writing is subconscious I believe. Sometimes only a line or two present themselves, but when i'm emotionally unstable I can sit and write for hours , writing is my tongue and you don't understand that.

One day I will figure this out... I read and write to try and understand what this thing called life means. I write to add my evidence , my experience to the pool of collective human consciousness. Those who read me one day must make of it what they want...and I wish them all the best of luck in figuring out whats going on,as me,myself and I don't even know myself.